I don’t know what it was about the 4th of July celebrations yesterday that triggered a bit of sadness in me. Maybe it was seeing all the families enjoying the day’s festivities and just having fun and my life is not so fun these days? But it was an overwhelming feeling of loneliness that I couldn’t quite ignore.
It is not very often that I even think about the fact that I am a single mother raising a teenager and a pre-teen, running an Interior Decorating business, and just dealing with every single aspect of life alone. I just know what needs to be done, and I get up everyday and do it. If I make a mistake, I learn from it, put it behind me and forge on. I never expect a reward or a badge of honor for doing what needs to be done, I don’t even expect to be called a strong woman. I’m just a woman doing the best I can with what God has blessed me with.
I realized quickly that my sadness yesterday was tied to the fact that I am single, and have been for a while. I have done a great job of convincing myself that I don’t need a man to feel fulfilled and complete, and this is true. But there is that God-given sense of companionship that is there within each of us and we can’t just brush it aside as if it doesn’t exist. The key is how you handle that need for companionship.
I wouldn’t go as far as saying my life is painful, but being single is getting really old, and fast. Even my last relationship that lasted three years still felt like I was single. I mean, he was a wonderful guy who I believed loved me very much, but it was a long distance relationship (I mean another continent!) and so we hardly saw each other. We ended up just being friends…that was best for us I think.
Then there is the ex-boyfriend who didn’t quite deserve my love, but I still can’t seem to get over? Who still calls me up for advice and support even with relationships, and who clearly realizes that I am “the one that got away”.
So I haven’t been that lucky in love.
Why does it have to be so complicated?!
So instead of feeling sorry for myself for being single, and resenting other people’s happiness, I am embracing the fact that no matter what, I am living life to the fullest and loving my family with all that is in me. I will keep moving forward with my life and won’t settle for less than I deserve. I will continue to hold myself to the highest standards and will expect the same from a man. I won’t worry about the future especially where relationships are concerned. I believe that in time and with prayer, everything will fall right into place. I’m sure there will be days that I will feel alone and sad, but it’s amazing the joy that comes from being with your children and immersing yourself in a hobby or even work. Lucky for me, I get to do what I love everyday – designing beautiful and comfortable spaces for my clients!
Yes, I can honestly say, I am a strong single woman who doesn’t need a man to feel fulfilled or complete.
Thanks for taking the time to read about my minor emotional breakdown :-) I promise to get back to the business of interior design in my next post. There are big things on the horizon for Casa Vilora Interiors and No Naked Windows, so please stay tuned to find out. As always, you can contact me here for more information about my decorating service or visit my online store to purchase custom drapery, bedding and pillows.
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Have a fabulous Friday!
Be Inspired!
Veronica Solomon
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