I don’t know what it was about the 4th of July celebrations yesterday that triggered a bit of sadness in me. Maybe it was seeing all the families enjoying the day’s festivities and just having fun and my life is not so fun these days? But it was an overwhelming feeling of loneliness that I couldn’t quite ignore.
It is not very often that I even think about the fact that I am a single mother raising a teenager and a pre-teen, running an Interior Decorating business, and just dealing with every single aspect of life alone. I just know what needs to be done, and I get up everyday and do it. If I make a mistake, I learn from it, put it behind me and forge on. I never expect a reward or a badge of honor for doing what needs to be done, I don’t even expect to be called a strong woman. I’m just a woman doing the best I can with what God has blessed me with.
I realized quickly that my sadness yesterday was tied to the fact that I am single, and have been for a while. I have done a great job of convincing myself that I don’t need a man to feel fulfilled and complete, and this is true. But there is that God-given sense of companionship that is there within each of us and we can’t just brush it aside as if it doesn’t exist. The key is how you handle that need for companionship.
I wouldn’t go as far as saying my life is painful, but being single is getting really old, and fast. Even my last relationship that lasted three years still felt like I was single. I mean, he was a wonderful guy who I believed loved me very much, but it was a long distance relationship (I mean another continent!) and so we hardly saw each other. We ended up just being friends…that was best for us I think.
Then there is the ex-boyfriend who didn’t quite deserve my love, but I still can’t seem to get over? Who still calls me up for advice and support even with relationships, and who clearly realizes that I am “the one that got away”.
So I haven’t been that lucky in love.
Why does it have to be so complicated?!
So instead of feeling sorry for myself for being single, and resenting other people’s happiness, I am embracing the fact that no matter what, I am living life to the fullest and loving my family with all that is in me. I will keep moving forward with my life and won’t settle for less than I deserve. I will continue to hold myself to the highest standards and will expect the same from a man. I won’t worry about the future especially where relationships are concerned. I believe that in time and with prayer, everything will fall right into place. I’m sure there will be days that I will feel alone and sad, but it’s amazing the joy that comes from being with your children and immersing yourself in a hobby or even work. Lucky for me, I get to do what I love everyday – designing beautiful and comfortable spaces for my clients!
Yes, I can honestly say, I am a strong single woman who doesn’t need a man to feel fulfilled or complete.
Thanks for taking the time to read about my minor emotional breakdown 
I promise to get back to the business of interior design in my next post. There are big things on the horizon for Casa Vilora Interiors and No Naked Windows, so please stay tuned to find out. As always, you can contact me here for more information about my decorating service or visit my online store to purchase custom drapery, bedding and pillows.
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Have a fabulous Friday!
Be Inspired!
Veronica Solomon
Victoria, I know exactly how you feel. I have been a single mom for 22 years! (Now I guess you could call me a single grandma!!). I had one serious relationship during that time, but both my ex-husband and my ex-boyfriend are now deceased. It is not easy to be a strong woman, and I promise you it doesn’t get any easier as your daughters become teenagers and young women, but it is rewarding just the same. I have discovered I don’t need a man to find my self-worth. Like you, I enjoy what I do every day. Like you I find pride in my own decisions (even when they are the wrong ones) and pick myself up and go foward. I believe there is someone in this world for everyone, and I have already found and lost that someone. Now it is up to me (and to you) to be the best possible person and to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Ever need a pat on the back? Just come a’callin’!! I’ll remind you of how special you really are!
Thanks for your encouraging words Tina! Hearing from a wonderful strong woman like yourself about having been in my shoes, definitely shows me that it does getter better.
Stay strong! You are right things fall into place… it just isn’t time yet! When you least expect it, that’s when things really happen! Relax this weekend, you deserve it!
That’s Rob! Hanging in there!
I am sorry that you were sad yesterday seeing all of those families together. Everyone longs for a companion; however, you don’t want to settle into a relationship with the wrong person. It will happen and you will find the man of your dreams. I was a single mom for 8 years and dated some. I had lots of failed and bad relationships; however, once I removed my old baggage and ask God to prepare my husband’s heart and mine. That is when I finally met my husband. I wish you luck, its hard dating with kids.
I’m happy for you Christy! It’s wonderful to find the one that God prepared for you. Best wishes to you both and thanks for your words of encouragement!
Sometimes feeling single can even come while in a relationship if it is not a healthy one – I am sure we have all felt that at one point or another – stay strong and hold out for the one that really deserves and appreciates you! So glad you have your wonderful kids and beautiful work (such talent) to help lift you up!!
That is true Robyn. Relationships in themselves come with their own set of challenges
There are a lot of things that can be done energetically regarding this! As an energy practitioner I’ve assisted many people in releasing trapped negative emotions from relationships of loss that have cleared the way for attracting the right companion into their life. In the process, feelings of loneliness, hopelessness and despair are cleared out and replaced with hope, joy and determination. The memory of the loss will remain, but the emotional charge will be gone.
Thanks Loretta! A session with you may be just what I need. I do have a positive outlook in general but I do get a bit side tracked every once in a while
Great Post!
I will refer this for my wife also.
Sure thing!
Veronica,
I admire you for your openness and transparency. I admire your honesty and I’m delighted to read that you are are working through your emotions. I completely understand and appreciate where you are coming from. I meet many people as a function of my business that are struggling in their relationships because they created self-sabotaging beliefs through negative self-talk. I want to encourage you to keep your mind clear of the negative things you may tell yourself. Most or all of it is not true, but your subconscious doesn’t know the truth from the lie, the fact from the fiction. It only knows what you put into it. You are worth it, your kids are worth it, and when the right man comes along he will be worthy to have you and your kids in his life!
Thank you Don! I may get a bit side tracked every once in a while, but I know what matters and never lose sight of those things. Thanks for your encouraging words
Stay strong and wear your pain like stilettos! That was a great quote
I like that quote a lot too. Thanks Tom!
Good for you. Hang in there. You are a high quality person
Thank you Kevin!
I was single for the most of the time while my son was growing up. Don’t give up. You never know when the right man will come along. Until then, remember that you are enough.
Absolutely Deborah! It’s nice to know that strong women like you have walked this path and are stronger than ever!
You go girl! Happy you have your awesome career and you are a strong and independent self starter. The right person will come along when you least expect them:)
Thanks Dani!
Stay strong, you made it this far…everything else is going to be a blast
Thank you Yvonne!
Thank you so much for sharing this part of you. I can relate to much of it. I love the quotes and I know that you’re moving forward.
Thanks Meli!
I love your attitude and honesty
It’s not easy, that’s for sure… but you seem to have the right attitude… the danger is hardening your heart and trying to convince yourself that you dont need, want or care about having a man… like this “Miss Independent” cover-up facade as self-preservation mode to try to avoid the pain. I like the way that you feel it, acknowledge it, dont try to remove it, and just move on… that’s a real healthy way to go 
Thanks Robin, I try to keep a positive attitude. Very encouraging words
Keep on moving Veronica. Our life here is full of ups and downs. Our down moments should be the best time to realize and reflect on ourselves, discover your new you and learn. Just keep on moving, stay inspired with your children and you’ll know the next day, you are better than yesterday. Your blog post about this is a good outlet to share your sentiments and emotions and I admire you much of this. Just what Rob says, best things come when we least expect them.